ConanOBrien: I announced the name of my show today right here: http://bit.ly/cc3jhU (Spoiler alert: The words "Tonight" and "Show" aren't in it.)

ConanOBrien: A huge victory for me at last night's Emmys. That's right, my wife let me have the aisle seat.

ConanOBrien: I may be jumping into this whole Muslim controversy a little late, but really? He's going to call himself Kareem Abdul Jabbar?

ConanOBrien: Someone just explained to me that I don't get paid for tweeting. I'm going to miss you guys.

ConanOBrien: Lady Gaga just passed Britney Spears as the person with the most Twitter followers. In a related story, I'm closing in on LeVar Burton!

ConanOBrien: In a recent interview, Kim Kardashian says her "entire body is hairless". Sounds like she went into a salon and asked for "The O'Brien".

ConanOBrien: I came into my office today and Andy had hung this over my desk. He apparently has a lot of them. http://twitpic.com/2giosz

ConanOBrien: The NASA robot doing chores on the space station has its own Twitter account. I'm glad to see NASA is still shooting for the stars.

ConanOBrien: Stallone's movie "The Expendables" is #1. Look for the movie coming out about my exploits in high school: "The Let'sBeFriendables".

ConanOBrien: Just booked the first guest for my new show. Tune in to see me cuddle a pygmy tufted-ear marmoset.

ConanOBrien: My new bathroom at TBS has two railings around the toilet. Those idiots - I asked for four. http://twitpic.com/2e1cwa

ConanOBrien: For those of you who are wondering, yes, this is a photo of me at 18: http://bit.ly/9yJ6zx. It's also a photo of me at 30. And 40.